Empathy

Written By Lois Ingber

Neuroscience has shown that the brain is a “social organ,” wired for connection. As social beings, we exist in relationship to others whether in the home, school, workplace or community. Relationships work best when we can understand the situation, thoughts and feelings of another, to facilitate cooperation. This is empathy.

Empathy is different from sympathy. Summarized, empathy is feeling with and builds connection; sympathy is feeling which invites disconnection. This 3-minute video by Brene Brown helps explain the difference.

Challenge: Find ways to practice with your family, co-workers and others the four ways Brene Brown describes of showing empathy:

  • Take the perspective of the other. This takes listening.

  • Refrain from judgment, whether we agree with what the other is experiencing, or just don’t understand it.

  • Recognize and validate the emotions of others.

  • Communicate this to them: “I bet you’re feeling angry about that.”

Lois Ingber

LOIS INGBER, Behavioral Counselor, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainer.  Lois holds a Bachelor Degree in Sociology from UCLA and a Masters in Social Work degree from SDSU where her focus area was Children, Youth, and Families.  Lois has worked in social service, private practice, hospital, clinic, and school settings, most recently for seventeen years at Rady Children’s Outpatient Psychiatry providing school-based counseling services.  Lois was a Community Montessori and Dehesa parent prior to joining the staff in 2016 and brings this perspective to her role.   Lois is responsible for providing education, collaboration, and support implementing the Positive Discipline model and social/emotional competencies in the Learning Center and home learning environments, in line with Element’s philosophy of self-directed learning and the development of mastery, autonomy, and purpose for students and the adults who serve as their guides.

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